As my sister is quick to point out, for twins, Jeff and I are not that close. Sure, we're brother and sister, only seven minutes apart, but it took his loss for us to be closer. When he left, I was angry and sad. I felt his aim was to take my place in my dad's heart, and back then we were so young and stupid we fought constantly. I remember going to school with fat lips and black eyes after one of our fights. He constantly did everything in his power to make me embarrassed, to make me hurt. I made fun of his stutter, and sat on him. Then he left me. Ran to the place that I had left, lured by my father's glittering promises. Even to this day I am gullible for my father to take advantage of. He doesn't do it on purpose, he makes these great plans that are impossible to follow through with. That it is why I can't see him on my 16th birthday. I don't hate him for it. Why would I?
But I digress, I miss Jeff with an ache at times. We've talked over and over again about going to Amsterdam together, me for the museums, him for other things. We've talked about seeing him this summer, but I will be in summer school, and he will be in New Orleans then on a road trip. Great. I never knew that we could be close, or that I really love him as much as I do. I hope I get to see him soon!!!