I'm Missing my other half... My twin

As my sister is quick to point out, for twins, Jeff and I are not that close. Sure, we're brother and sister, only seven minutes apart, but it took his loss for us to be closer. When he left, I was angry and sad. I felt his aim was to take my place in my dad's heart, and back then we were so young and stupid we fought constantly. I remember going to school with fat lips and black eyes after one of our fights. He constantly did everything in his power to make me embarrassed, to make me hurt. I made fun of his stutter, and sat on him. Then he left me. Ran to the place that I had left, lured by my father's glittering promises. Even to this day I am gullible for my father to take advantage of. He doesn't do it on purpose, he makes these great plans that are impossible to follow through with. That it is why I can't see him on my 16th birthday. I don't hate him for it. Why would I?

But I digress, I miss Jeff with an ache at times. We've talked over and over again about going to Amsterdam together, me for the museums, him for other things. We've talked about seeing him this summer, but I will be in summer school, and he will be in New Orleans then on a road trip. Great. I never knew that we could be close, or that I really love him as much as I do. I hope I get to see him soon!!!

I want to die a russian death

So I was on the phone about 2 and half hours with my friend Jeremy tonight. We talked about lots of things, but then he died a Russian death. Now I want to as well. Who will be my Neville Chamberlain and appease me? Oh wait, I'd have to die a German death for that. So i also have music on my mind
Kiss From a Rose-Seal
You're my kind-Santana ft. Seal
Shady Business-The Audition
Gift of Paralysis-Envy on The Coast
Let's Dance to Joy Division-The Wombats

I am digging the Marine animal.... ya know the one that the eskimos batter with bats
I think its called a SEAL
I will always love Santana
because he never sings... he's so awesome others do it for him.

I have a cyber stalker...ssh don't tellz n0b0dy...isz scared outta meh mind.
her n4me isz alysia mora.... shesz a sc4ry goyle.
Fuck I can't stand to type like those typical myspace girls... makes me wish I was a catholic nun with a ruler standing over them typing... that would be awesome. Wikity whack attack with the ruler. Its time for a victory schreech if that ever happen. people would ask if that was a hawk they heard, and i will answer no that was my victory schreech and do it over again. Thats how awesome being dumb girls with a ruler would be. hmm.... I sound like a sadist. Which I am definately not. I am too sympathetic. God Damn it... :]

Everytime you come around
you just look me up and down
then you try to hold my hand
im confused no i dont understand

you can call me 6 times
still i wont pick up the phone
you can spend all your money on me
I still will say
you can take all day confessing to me
that I am the girl of your dreams
i never looked at you that way
I always thought you were gay
-Secret, By the Veronicas.
A good way to end this blog

Crush Rush

What can I say I am a teenage girl, same hormones and gossip as everyone else. I have tons of crushes too. Don't act surprised. Just cause I am the way I am doesn't mean I dont have a heart. Too bad the outside doesn't attract the boys and The inside doesn't keep them. Well, except for my guy friends but its not like that with them. They are like brothers. And that one guy who has been checking me out since december needs to do something. seriously. while his looks aren't what other people would call attractive, his smile makes my heart beat a million times a minute. I had to make the first move, now will he make the second one... please? stop teasing me with that smile.

Love

you leave me so bereft. My dreams never match exactly the way I feel. The biggest surprise is that I still love you. I will never tell you. But I do. SO much sometimes that my chest hurts. Then there is pain from someone else. you both leave me so sad. I get so sad when I think of you. I know you probably never think of me anymore. Its been a year, but i dream and think about you all the time. The thing is, the type of love has changed.

?

boredom is a bitch, is it not? especially on mother's day? Like, i should be with my mother, but instead, I am here, typing, and, perhaps, no one will see what I type, making this pointless. But, who knows, maybe I will be less bored in a minute, an hour, or even a day..... time will tell

Haha, nice of you to stop in.

Nice of you to stop by and read this. Well, some back ground then, but only vague. Stalkers are scary people, no? And also, the things you could do with a computer these days, and what any employer might see. So I am going to be picky with what I give out.
Name is Erica.
I love to dance and sing.
I am young, but don't ask what age.
I want to move to a large city, like Boston, New York, or Paris.
I speak french, although not well or fluently.
I love my friends.
And I am open for any one to ask questions, but not stuff like where i live.